The Fever


Some of my sisters here have felt “the fever”. The fever is something only my closest circle of friends know I have. I’m at this point where this is the goal that I’d like to finish, but there is a something I want to do.

I’d really like to have a second child.

Wait… don’t leave! Hear me out.

I’m pretty stable right now, even if I’m rather poor. I’m getting a bit older too. When I was young, I wanted five kids. Ok, realistically, that’s not gonna happen now. The two things I didn’t want were to have my kids so far apart that they would have a semi-parent/child relationship. That sucks; I can personally attest, because I gave up a lot of my formative years helping to raise my brother. The other thing is that I didn’t want to be older when I had my children. I want to have the energy to play with them and be a active mother. Well, I’ve screwed the pooch on the first, but I’m dangerously close to doing the same with my second rule. At least my plan to adopt a teenager is still on track (maybe I’ll do that post at some point).

Now, I certainly don’t come on to a man with this baby mentality. In fact, I keep it close to the cuff. I was raised by a woman. I’m a proud single mother. I have never felt this burning need to have a man to have a child. I don’t even really want a man to muddle up this plan. The problem is that I have no go friend to help and I’d only really like to catch a baby and nothing else (this means strangers are out too). Plus, I feel this moral obligation to be honest and tell a baby daddy.

Even though money is tight. I’m between undergrad and grad. I feel capable. I am ready. I was ready for my first; I am ready for my second. Too bad I’m not a fertile myrtle, or I’d go to a sperm bank. It took 17 months to get my son and I can’t afford months and month of insemination.

Where is my karma when I need it?

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5 thoughts on “The Fever

  1. I definitely have the fever! I really want to have my first child, I’m just having to wait until I can convince E it’s a good idea. He wants to wait until I’m completely better which realistically may not happen.

    • I would say once your issues are controlled, go for it! Definitely would want to be monitored closely and not taking things with side effects, but being pregnant kinda just sucks anyways, what’s a bit more gonna do?

      • That’s my thinking! He’s worried about me coping after the child is born but we’ve got tonnes of support here so we should be fine 🙂

  2. This is quite an interesting situation to be in, huh? Since strangers are out of the question, I’m surprised that you don’t have some male friends from say conventions that wouldn’t be able to help out. Then again though, the only catching a baby and not the man part might make some guys feel uncomfortable. Not to sound too pervy, but it’s a shame that you don’t live in Texas (I assume) as I think we could be friends. Not necessarily for the reason you would need one for this situation though, lol.

    Anyways, good luck on this!

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