Some of my sisters here have felt “the fever”. The fever is something only my closest circle of friends know I have. I’m at this point where this is the goal that I’d like to finish, but there is a something I want to do.
I’d really like to have a second child.
Wait… don’t leave! Hear me out.
I’m pretty stable right now, even if I’m rather poor. I’m getting a bit older too. When I was young, I wanted five kids. Ok, realistically, that’s not gonna happen now. The two things I didn’t want were to have my kids so far apart that they would have a semi-parent/child relationship. That sucks; I can personally attest, because I gave up a lot of my formative years helping to raise my brother. The other thing is that I didn’t want to be older when I had my children. I want to have the energy to play with them and be a active mother. Well, I’ve screwed the pooch on the first, but I’m dangerously close to doing the same with my second rule. At least my plan to adopt a teenager is still on track (maybe I’ll do that post at some point).
Now, I certainly don’t come on to a man with this baby mentality. In fact, I keep it close to the cuff. I was raised by a woman. I’m a proud single mother. I have never felt this burning need to have a man to have a child. I don’t even really want a man to muddle up this plan. The problem is that I have no go friend to help and I’d only really like to catch a baby and nothing else (this means strangers are out too). Plus, I feel this moral obligation to be honest and tell a baby daddy.
Even though money is tight. I’m between undergrad and grad. I feel capable. I am ready. I was ready for my first; I am ready for my second. Too bad I’m not a fertile myrtle, or I’d go to a sperm bank. It took 17 months to get my son and I can’t afford months and month of insemination.
Where is my karma when I need it?