Craptastic day, but wait there is hope!


Well, first let me give you my (lack) of fitness update. I’ve done two runs in two weeks. It’s been cold and miserable. I haven’t even gone to the gym. I have a lackluster desire on that front. I’ve put on probably 4lbs. I have also been eating everything under the sun. I feel heavy and gross with meat, but I’ve have had a hard time turning away free food. This whole healthy lifestyle is going against the whole frugal/minimalist/green life style. I may even go back to vegetarian, because I keep getting free dairy and eggs products. Arrrrggg. I need a run; it’s my meditation.

Today? Hell! Screwed up at the gas station. Then, I had a regular that won’t leave. He texts me constantly. I gave this guy my number trying to be nice, because he seemed friendly and lonely. Now, he’s texting me like a jealous girlfriend. He talks about me to my co-workers. I guess he has a thing for me (and HELL NO!). So after getting 3 hours of sleep because my phone is getting blown up, I go to my other job and the client doesn’t show (though I am getting paid for it this time).

I went home after trying to vacuum my car (vacuum didn’t work, dollar down). I get a call from my ex’s daughter’s lawyer pretty much from moment one. This goes better than expected, but I’m fairly positive that my ex has been lying that we’re still together to the PA courts for his custody case with the first wife. During this awkward call, I get a text from the mother of my client saying she no longer wants my services.

Well, f*** me! Now, my job that pays is in limbo. The father hasn’t cancelled, but I’ll be losing money from my pay check. I make $700 a month. This is a major deal. I did talk to my boss, so I am sure I’m not going to lose the job even if I lose my current client, but I am taking a birthday pay cut (next pay check is on my b-day). I did pick up hours at the gas station, but I make 4.25 less an hour there. I’m wired and tired. Guess who is working tonight! Shoot me.

Some good news? I totally have a sperm donor picked out and am set up for the first series this month. Due to his schedule, it’s a bit later than I’d like, but it may still work. I am using NI/natural insemination (this means sex) instead of artificial. It should at least be fun, even if it doesn’t work. I thought about it (AI), but I believe in mother nature. There is a contract, and it might be a terrible idea, but it’s better than a stranger, and a beautiful child may come from it. I am excited about this! I’ve got a check up on thursday to start it off right.

I know my life is on the right track, so I just have to tough this patch. Who knows? The lawyer said she’d give me my ex’s address to serve him, so maybe that’ll be getting sorted soon. I’m reading baby books and picking names to stay positive.

Right now I’ve got the girls name down: Anna Jo Lol.

The boys name in the lead is Jackson David Lol. (Son of Jack, get it? David after my cousin who has passed away). Runner up is Quinn Lol., but I can’t figure out any middle name that flows. Lol is the first letters of my last name, in case you missed it.

Any ideas for names? Moonbeam? Have fun with me 🙂

Forever toughing it out,

~Jackie

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