I’m boring. The reason has been half boring, half real life shit.
There has been a big downslide for the last couple of weeks with my son. He got the idea that when he’s bad in school he comes home. He does, so he’s biting, hitting, throwing, and screaming. It’s been stressful. He’s even been doing it at home, now. Today, I called the local police to have them talk to him about hitting. It didn’t go great, but they were very nice.
The baby and son have squashed my energy to run. I haven’t had the time or the sleep to do it, but I feel lost without it. I’ve developed a wonderful food aversion to soft veggies. Awesome, it was my diet. I’ve felt so fat and stressed out. I miss my run zen. I still want to run, but life keeps eating my free time. I hope to convince myself to go back to a healthy diet.
I didn’t realize how much harder the weight has been to deal with this time. I’ve gained 5-6lbs, but it feels like a hundred. Because of the extra skin from the first, my stomach has changed so much more drastically than the first time. I’ve already had the balance/back shift too. None of my pants fit. This is overwhelming to my recovered-food brain. The urges are so much harder to bare with the anorexia. I’m still eating; I’ve fought remarkably and have maintained my recovery, so go me.
I think I might do a series of pregnancy fit video reviews to give myself something to look forward to.
Unrelated note, I’m pretty sure I saw a penis on the 12 week ultrasound, even though you generally can’t. The ultrasound tech agreed, but said don’t buy anything yet, just in case. My hope for dresses have been dashed.