So in the last week, I’ve only managed to do one sprint/walk on the treadmill. I am feeling terrible about the world in general. I used my run time as a time of reflection and meditation, me time, but without it I feel lost. I spent a good time of my pregnancy struggling with my eating disorder. I didn’t fall back into the patterns, but those feelings of guilt when I eat are alive and kicking. I stopped eating veg/vegan, but I want to get back there. I’m struggling with that too. It’s so much more difficult to exercise and cook (or shower, sh*t, laundry, clean…) with a colic baby. I feel stagnant and lost without my running and I need to figure out something else to get that feeling until the weather is warm (I’ll jog with the stroller). I haven’t been able to work, because no one will watch a colic kid. I’ve never enjoyed the treadmill (there is one in the house, but really hate it and it makes me dizzy). I like yoga and zumba, but I like classes and not really doing it alone. I do know how to meditate, but meh. I think I just need to get my weight back down before I begin a spiral.