It’s a little late for this post, I suppose, but I took most of the month trying to figure out my goal for the year. My last years resolution went alright. I made progress on all of them, but towards the end of the year there was a total back slide.
I think this year, I’m going to focus on my spiritual self. After a lot of reflection, I realize that I’m failing pretty hard on making myself better. My last marriage has really given me this very heavy baggage. I’m not sure I’ll ever look for love again, even though I’m lonely. I feel like a total failure, a terrible package. It also has a lot to do with having to move back into the family house after leaving my last husband. I’m stuck here now, with the responsiblity of taking care of my aging grandfather. I can’t help but think who would ever want a poor, 30 yr old, single mother with 2 kids that lives at home.
My brain knows this is a problem; it’s self defeating. This needs to change. I need to recover from this. I don’t know where to start, but F it, I’m starting anyways.